The second "o" is critical. Back in the 1960s, when London graffiti proclaimed "Clapton is God," the brilliant British guitarist was descending into a personal hell. Eric Clapton traded a heroin addiction for alcoholism, suffered disastrous love affairs, contemplated suicide while armed with a bottle of vodka, a gram of blow and a shotgun.
The guitar deity has long since surrendered to a higher power; at 62, Clapton has 20 years of sobriety, a happy marriage and three young daughters. It's a good time to consider an extraordinary life, as the rock Hall of Famer does with "Clapton: The Autobiography."
Unlike many rock star efforts, this one includes no Zeppelin-esque tales of debauched groupies or ghostwritten revisions of musical and personal history. Clapton delivers a brutally honest and unsparing look at his life, near-death and recovery, interspersed with tales from an unparalleled music career.
Clapton, sipping a bottle of water in an office at National Public Radio before doing a radio show, said he deliberately shied away from the usual type of celebrity memoir.
"I wouldn't even know where to begin, to do that," Clapton explains. "I don't even know what that means, to be honest with you. Celebrity has lost whatever meaning it did have. I really tried to find out for myself where I'd been." Watch Clapton talk about the loss of his son »
Initially, Clapton planned to sit down for a series of interviews about his life, leaving a collaborator to handle the tweaking and organization. But a perusal of the first manuscript led the guitarist to get more hands-on.
"I realized this was not what I wanted to do at all," Clapton says. "So I rewrote that, and then I thought, 'I'll have to write this myself.' "
Clapton's six-string inspiration, Robert Johnson, sang of a single hellhound on his trail; Clapton had a whole pack nipping at his heels until a second trip through rehab changed his life in 1987. Johnson was dead by age 27, and there was a time when Clapton was convinced his life wouldn't last much beyond that.
"I entertained that notion when I was young and I was trying to identify with those guys," Clapton says of Johnson and other legendary bluesmen. "That is kind of a built-in fantasy that goes along with addiction, a way of justifying my need to get stoned: 'Well, that's what my heroes did."'
Through it all, Clapton created an indelible musical legacy that spanned genres while inspiring generations. The autobiography's chapter titles provide a roadmap through his life's work:
"The Yardbirds."
"Cream."
"Blind Faith."
"Derek and the Dominos."
Clapton, from his early days with the John Mayall's Bluesbreakers, quickly assumed a position in the center of the music universe. He hung out with the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, jammed with Muddy Waters and Duane Allman, influenced Stevie Ray Vaughan, Derek Trucks and untold thousands of other guitarists.
He confesses, without embarrassment, that he can't remember all of what happened.
"My memory of the late '60s right through the early '80s is severely hampered," Clapton says. "I wrote from what I could remember, and I needed nudging, too."
Clapton's book is not totally devoid of tabloid-worthy material. He recounts how Mick Jagger once stole his girlfriend -- an Italian model -- setting off homicidal fantasies in the late 1980s.
"I went on a rampage, mentally," Clapton recalls. "I wanted to kill him. I spent quite a long time plotting ways to undermine or just do away with (him) -- the kind of mad fantasies a drunk in recovery can have."
He also delves into his romance with Pattie Boyd, who wound up with Clapton after her split with Beatle George Harrison. Their star-crossed affair made her the muse for some of Clapton's most memorable songs, including "Layla" and "Wonderful Tonight," before the romance gave way to recriminations.
Clapton recalled a recent Sunday morning trip to his local grocery store, where Boyd's new memoir, "Wonderful Tonight," was excerpted in the British press. The page one headline jumped out as he grabbed the paper: "ERIC CLAPTON'S DRINKING KILLED MY MARRIAGE."
"The headline editor chose to castigate me quite strongly," Clapton says with more than a touch of British understatement. "I'm in the local shop, and I'm thinking, 'Are the neighbors watching me read?' "
Clapton greets his guest alone, without an entourage or stylists or publicists. He wears glasses, and his hearing is failing. His hair is cut short, with a bristle of beard rising from his face. In a T-shirt and jeans, Clapton is unpretentious and open -- reflective in one instant, laughing in the next.
In his writing, he referred to diaries that he'd kept during the '80s. The musings, squirreled away in an attic for years, brought back painful memories. Clapton recalled that most of his writing came with a pen in one hand and a drink in the other.
"I was having delusions of grandeur," he says with a self-deprecating laugh. "I thought I had something worth saying. That's what drink can do -- give a deluded view of my self-importance.
"So once I got fueled up on my amount of alcohol for the day, it would have been easy for me to devote of couple of hours writing down mad thoughts. These days, I don't think I would give myself the time."
These days, his time is otherwise occupied. Besides family life, Clapton remains involved with the Crossroads treatment center that he founded nearly a decade ago in Antigua -- a huge benefit concert was held this past summer. And while he plans to cut back on live shows, Clapton has no plans for retirement.
"I can't stop touring, and I won't," he says emphatically. "I believe I have a responsibility to play for people."
Over the decades, Clapton has seen an assortment of friends and colleagues die, from Jimi Hendrix to George Harrison, from Duane Allman to Bob Marley, from Stevie Ray Vaughan to Muddy Waters. Asked how he managed to survive, Clapton has a ready answer.
"I've always assumed it was really because I hadn't gotten my act together," he replies, laughing loudly. "Maybe I'd better not get it too good, because then it will be time for me to check out.
"I'm glad it worked out that way. I still don't feel like I've got it right. I'm still working on my sound."
What? Eric Clapton is still working on hitting the right notes?
"Yeah," he replies, his laugh filling the room. "Still trying to get the right amp."
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Halloween meeting in Orange, Ca
HALLOWEEN PARTY
Friday October 26th, 2007 7:00pmw
An evening of Hope and Celebration of our Sobriety and Relationship with God
with The Anonymous and Special Guest
Speakers: Rottweiler from the Front Line Warriors, Kevin Blue & George Morgan
250 S Prospect Ave., Orange, California 92869
For Information: Karl Majick (949) 547-6172
Admission is FREE Everyone is Welcome
Dancing, Costume Contest, Fellowship, Speakers (The 1st 3 Steps)
Friday October 26th, 2007 7:00pmw
An evening of Hope and Celebration of our Sobriety and Relationship with God
with The Anonymous and Special Guest
Speakers: Rottweiler from the Front Line Warriors, Kevin Blue & George Morgan
250 S Prospect Ave., Orange, California 92869
For Information: Karl Majick (949) 547-6172
Admission is FREE Everyone is Welcome
Dancing, Costume Contest, Fellowship, Speakers (The 1st 3 Steps)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Sober Party In The OC
Young People of AA dance party at the Hilton October 27th at the Hilton in Costa Mesa
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Heroin Diaries
“This was the beginning of the end. I knew I was either gonna die or get sober. I knew how to die. By then I’d had many secret overdoses and seizures so I understood where the line was and I was just inches from crossing it. The dying could be easy…it was the living that I didn’t know if I could do.”
Twenty years ago, Mötley Crüe bassist and principal songwriter Nikki Sixx was at the height of his fame and having a really bad year. Depressed and addicted to heroin, he managed to write in a diary on an almost daily basis, from December 1986 (“alone, naked, sitting by the Christmas tree, gripping a shotgun”) to December 1987 (wrenched from “death’s arms” by an assortment of paramedics and rock stars, including Slash from Guns N’ Roses). Then he began his journey toward sobriety and lost track of his diary until 2005, when he found it again in a storage locker. Much of its material had already been chronicled in The Dirt, Mötley Crüe’s classic 2002 autobiography with Neil Strauss, but Sixx decided to go public with the diary anyway because it offers a less celebratory, more cautionary look at the “personal hell” of drug addiction. Working with veteran music journalist Ian Gittins, Sixx created The Heroin Diaries, a darkly funny book that’s part journal, part scrapbook, and part oral history of his battles with his addictions, his band mates, his past, and one truly loopy ex-girlfriend (Prince’s former protégé Vanity).
The Heroin Diaries is occasionally repetitive (“drugs yes, alcohol yes, groupies yes, depression yes”), but it succeeds because the unstoppable Sixx—who’s also released a Heroin Diaries soundtrack album—keeps striking a nerve, if no longer a vein.
Click here to visit The Heroin Diaries on MySpace.
Twenty years ago, Mötley Crüe bassist and principal songwriter Nikki Sixx was at the height of his fame and having a really bad year. Depressed and addicted to heroin, he managed to write in a diary on an almost daily basis, from December 1986 (“alone, naked, sitting by the Christmas tree, gripping a shotgun”) to December 1987 (wrenched from “death’s arms” by an assortment of paramedics and rock stars, including Slash from Guns N’ Roses). Then he began his journey toward sobriety and lost track of his diary until 2005, when he found it again in a storage locker. Much of its material had already been chronicled in The Dirt, Mötley Crüe’s classic 2002 autobiography with Neil Strauss, but Sixx decided to go public with the diary anyway because it offers a less celebratory, more cautionary look at the “personal hell” of drug addiction. Working with veteran music journalist Ian Gittins, Sixx created The Heroin Diaries, a darkly funny book that’s part journal, part scrapbook, and part oral history of his battles with his addictions, his band mates, his past, and one truly loopy ex-girlfriend (Prince’s former protégé Vanity).
The Heroin Diaries is occasionally repetitive (“drugs yes, alcohol yes, groupies yes, depression yes”), but it succeeds because the unstoppable Sixx—who’s also released a Heroin Diaries soundtrack album—keeps striking a nerve, if no longer a vein.
Click here to visit The Heroin Diaries on MySpace.
CA Halloween
COME HAVE A GREAT TIME FELLOWSHIPPING WITH OCCA OVER THE "FRIGHT NIGHT" HALLOWEEN WEEKEND, AND SHOW OFF YOUR BOWLING TALENTS AS WELL!!!!
Come Support Orange County C.A.
WHEN: SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2007
TIME: 8:00 PM to 12:00 MIDNIGHT
WHERE:LAKE FOREST LANES; 22771 Center Dr.; Lake Forest, CA 92630
Please call Jace B. @ 714.403.0785 or Thurman H. @ 949.533.2132 or call 714.839.5505 or contact your GSR for more information regarding attending this event.
Come Support Orange County C.A.
WHEN: SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2007
TIME: 8:00 PM to 12:00 MIDNIGHT
WHERE:LAKE FOREST LANES; 22771 Center Dr.; Lake Forest, CA 92630
Please call Jace B. @ 714.403.0785 or Thurman H. @ 949.533.2132 or call 714.839.5505 or contact your GSR for more information regarding attending this event.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Comedy In Recovery
"Comedy in Recovery" at the The Alano Club of Fountain Valley every Friday evening at 9:30. This show has been a Southern California comedy institution for over 250 shows and has moved from The Thrift Store to this location. Admission is FREE! That's right. You can show up on a Friday night and see comedians who have appeared on Comedy Central, The Tonight Show and the Improv, as well as up and coming local talent...all for FREE! Not only that, but thanks to The Shores, the audience gets free stuff at the snack bar and can win prizes like Best Buy gift cards, movie tickets and much more! This show is not only for people in recovery. Everyone is welcome! The Alano Club is in a great neighborhood in Fountain Valley at 16581 Brookhurst Street Come on out and bring your friends for an evening of great comedy every Friday at 9:30! If you know someone who needs recovery services, please contact The Shores at www.theshorestreatment.com or The Fountain Valley Alano Club at (714) 839-2515.
Trent Reznor...Sober...but still sick as hell
Trent Reznor's Upward SpiralHeather AdlerPublished: Wednesday, February 07, 2007Nine Inch Nails is nominated for best hard rock performance at the 2007 Grammy Awards
Trent Reznor, the dark prince with a crown of shit who brought industrial anthems into the mainstream, didn't just write about depression. He screamed. He lived it. He injected it into his veins, carved it into his chest and bled it all over the stage to the adulation of troubled teens and the horror of concerned suburban parents everywhere. But that's all over now.
"I hated everything. I hated everyone. I hated everything about myself. I hated music. I didn't care about anything," says Mr. Self Deconstruct himself, the blacker-than-black Reznor. "That's a bleak place to wind up at, but things couldn't be further away from that now."
Things certainly have changed for the now 40-year-old electronic marvel. During the six-year hiatus between The Fragile and Nine Inch Nail's latest release - the blisteringly dark, stripped down yet ferocious With Teeth - Reznor, for the first time, looked the dark demons he'd been dancing with in his music right in the eye. He battled through his drug and alcohol addictions and the crippling depression that haunted him for so long.
"I was certainly depressed and I was in the thralls of withdrawal for about a year after the Fragile tour," he says in a surprisingly casual tone. "Through my actions, I was certainly behaving in an irresponsible enough way that I was, in a cowardly way, trying to end it."
Although it might be hard to believe, the man behind the NIN machinery was actually as bad off as his image purported. Despite selling millions of records, travelling the world, winning dozens of awards and becoming an idol for the disenchanted, Reznor says he's very shy, has trouble dealing with people and is often consumed with the fear of failure. Chemical relief was his way of coping.
"I said I couldn't be creative without (drugs)," he concedes. "Really, I was afraid to give up drugs. Once I did, once my brain started working again, it dawned on me that I didn't turn to drugs for creativity - I just tried to make myself feel not so terrible about myself. That's why I did it. In the end, the drugs were crippling. They killed any bit of art that I had in me."
Today, Reznor is sober, his pale skin has an L.A. glow, his long black hair is shaved short and, while he might not exactly be a shiny, happy person, he says he's at least "a lot more comfortable" with who he is. But that doesn't mean the fan base that fed off his shadow for more than a decade is. After all, when you're the poster boy for bleakness, you attract a certain kind of disturbed - and they have a funny way of showing their devotion.
"My favourite (item a fan's given me) was a letter written in blood," he says. "It started off saying, 'We're your biggest fans. We'd do anything for you. In fact, we're writing this in our own blood.' I don't know what it says after that because I haven't finished the letter. I left it sitting out while we were recording and it was funny watching people read it. They would always get to that line and then drop it."
Even though he's managed to pull himself back from the depths of despair, Reznor says he still doesn't mind being the patron saint for music lovers with a promiscuous appetite for self-destruction. In fact, he hopes he can help them find the light, too.
"I look out and I see people that must, in some fashion, relate to something I've said and what I've said came from my heart and from my guts," he says. "It made me feel good as a fan when I was growing up - be it through books, music or movies I related to - that I could find something that felt like something I wish I could have written if I could express myself that eloquently. Those things made me feel less alone, less detached and less desperate. I see that in a lot of these people and I think that's a cool thing. I'm not necessarily saying please jump over my fence and hang out in my backyard waiting for me to come home, but I am saying that it's flattering to feel you've touched somebody in some way. ... I've always wanted to make something that matters."
Reznor's Lighter Side
Is it really possible to be as bleak and black as Trent Reznor's image seems to paint him? We tried to find out.
Why don't you show other sides of yourself, ones that aren't so dark? You must have a lighter side.
I try to, as much as possible, keep my life private because I think it's demystifying and it goes against what I'm really trying to do, which is make music that matters. I want to make something important, that you can read into, that you can make your own. Trent Reznor the guy does whatever he does in normal life - whatever normal is - but I think there should be mystique in music and in art. I'm not saying that because I'm hiding something, but I think with TV and the Internet it's easy to overexpose. I don't want to give too much away. It's interesting to keep things precious.
How do you want to be remembered?
I don't know. For me, I think it's unhealthy to think too much about legacy. I have some peers who I think are very concerned about that. When the chapter is finished on this era, they don't want to be a footnote - they want to be a paragraph or a chapter title. It really depends on how things go. If Kurt Cobain hadn't killed himself, he would have most likely put out a mediocre record by now and wouldn't be the icon that he is.
Tell me something warm and fuzzy about yourself.
Well, if I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise.
Please? Maybe you have a big pair of fluffy slippers or something ...
No.
Listen to the words of his last two albums....wow
Trent Reznor, the dark prince with a crown of shit who brought industrial anthems into the mainstream, didn't just write about depression. He screamed. He lived it. He injected it into his veins, carved it into his chest and bled it all over the stage to the adulation of troubled teens and the horror of concerned suburban parents everywhere. But that's all over now.
"I hated everything. I hated everyone. I hated everything about myself. I hated music. I didn't care about anything," says Mr. Self Deconstruct himself, the blacker-than-black Reznor. "That's a bleak place to wind up at, but things couldn't be further away from that now."
Things certainly have changed for the now 40-year-old electronic marvel. During the six-year hiatus between The Fragile and Nine Inch Nail's latest release - the blisteringly dark, stripped down yet ferocious With Teeth - Reznor, for the first time, looked the dark demons he'd been dancing with in his music right in the eye. He battled through his drug and alcohol addictions and the crippling depression that haunted him for so long.
"I was certainly depressed and I was in the thralls of withdrawal for about a year after the Fragile tour," he says in a surprisingly casual tone. "Through my actions, I was certainly behaving in an irresponsible enough way that I was, in a cowardly way, trying to end it."
Although it might be hard to believe, the man behind the NIN machinery was actually as bad off as his image purported. Despite selling millions of records, travelling the world, winning dozens of awards and becoming an idol for the disenchanted, Reznor says he's very shy, has trouble dealing with people and is often consumed with the fear of failure. Chemical relief was his way of coping.
"I said I couldn't be creative without (drugs)," he concedes. "Really, I was afraid to give up drugs. Once I did, once my brain started working again, it dawned on me that I didn't turn to drugs for creativity - I just tried to make myself feel not so terrible about myself. That's why I did it. In the end, the drugs were crippling. They killed any bit of art that I had in me."
Today, Reznor is sober, his pale skin has an L.A. glow, his long black hair is shaved short and, while he might not exactly be a shiny, happy person, he says he's at least "a lot more comfortable" with who he is. But that doesn't mean the fan base that fed off his shadow for more than a decade is. After all, when you're the poster boy for bleakness, you attract a certain kind of disturbed - and they have a funny way of showing their devotion.
"My favourite (item a fan's given me) was a letter written in blood," he says. "It started off saying, 'We're your biggest fans. We'd do anything for you. In fact, we're writing this in our own blood.' I don't know what it says after that because I haven't finished the letter. I left it sitting out while we were recording and it was funny watching people read it. They would always get to that line and then drop it."
Even though he's managed to pull himself back from the depths of despair, Reznor says he still doesn't mind being the patron saint for music lovers with a promiscuous appetite for self-destruction. In fact, he hopes he can help them find the light, too.
"I look out and I see people that must, in some fashion, relate to something I've said and what I've said came from my heart and from my guts," he says. "It made me feel good as a fan when I was growing up - be it through books, music or movies I related to - that I could find something that felt like something I wish I could have written if I could express myself that eloquently. Those things made me feel less alone, less detached and less desperate. I see that in a lot of these people and I think that's a cool thing. I'm not necessarily saying please jump over my fence and hang out in my backyard waiting for me to come home, but I am saying that it's flattering to feel you've touched somebody in some way. ... I've always wanted to make something that matters."
Reznor's Lighter Side
Is it really possible to be as bleak and black as Trent Reznor's image seems to paint him? We tried to find out.
Why don't you show other sides of yourself, ones that aren't so dark? You must have a lighter side.
I try to, as much as possible, keep my life private because I think it's demystifying and it goes against what I'm really trying to do, which is make music that matters. I want to make something important, that you can read into, that you can make your own. Trent Reznor the guy does whatever he does in normal life - whatever normal is - but I think there should be mystique in music and in art. I'm not saying that because I'm hiding something, but I think with TV and the Internet it's easy to overexpose. I don't want to give too much away. It's interesting to keep things precious.
How do you want to be remembered?
I don't know. For me, I think it's unhealthy to think too much about legacy. I have some peers who I think are very concerned about that. When the chapter is finished on this era, they don't want to be a footnote - they want to be a paragraph or a chapter title. It really depends on how things go. If Kurt Cobain hadn't killed himself, he would have most likely put out a mediocre record by now and wouldn't be the icon that he is.
Tell me something warm and fuzzy about yourself.
Well, if I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise.
Please? Maybe you have a big pair of fluffy slippers or something ...
No.
Listen to the words of his last two albums....wow
Great Sober Links...
Click Here to go to huge sober community 12 step .com
Click on link above to check out straight edge /hardcore e-zine and community
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