A multi millionare once contracted me to kill his wife, but I'm more of a hustler than anything else, so I worked him for about $8,000 and warned the wife to watch her back at the same time . I probably saved her life. And I have the newspaper clippings to prove it. I was once extradited from New Jersey to California for shoplifting, and when I got out 90 days later I won $25,000 on the price is right, and I have the dated extradition papers and the Price is Right tape to prove it.
This is the story about a decision I made over 20 years ago and how that decision has affected every aspect of my life to this day. The choice I made is a choice people have been making since the beggining of time, the choice between right wrong. At the time I made this choice I had no idea it would cost me over 15 years of my life. As I sit here in my 6ft. by 8ft cell with nothing but time memories.
I've decided to put pen to paper and share with the world what I've learned. Sometimes my memory escapes me, so forgive me if I bounce around. Right now I'm in Monmouth County Correctional facility waiting to be extradited to California for commercial burglary, its a fancy word for shoplifting. Years ago I got caught coming out of a retail store with a t. v.
I've done it thounsands of times, thats right, thousands of times. I walk in and take whatever I want, put it in a cart, and walk smooth out. I didnt stick shit down my pants, I didnt look all around like a junkie looking for a fix,I took whayever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
This applied to alot more than just merchandise,beer, and food, this included cars jewlery, and teeth.
Thats right teeth, many men are walking this earth with less teeth then when we met. My lifestyle has made it possible for me to see all four corners of this great country. This is going to sound fucked up, but I might as well say it now, I,ve been to prison in all four corners as well. Just so you know I was trying to attend an N. A. meeting on a Naval base in N. J. when the gatewatchman ran my drivers liscence because of 9/11 they now check all civilians entering the base,make a long story short, I got busted because of Osama Bin Fucking Laden. I would also like you to know Ive never done time for a "bullshit"crime.
I once did a bid for a crime I did not commit, me and some freinds of mine were on our way home from a softball game drunk and high when some assholes from another town started talking shit to the smallest guy in our crew, it was getting dark and they didnt see the bat. And unfortunetly for me I did'nt see my exgirlfreind who was with those assholes who started the whole thing by talking shit and not being able to back it up.
That ex of mine dropped my name and I caught a 10 year bid for agg. assault with a deadly weapon and I did not hit anybody with a weapon I dont mean to brag but I've never needed a weapon, dont get me wrong I've lost quite a few fights, anyone who tells you that theyve never lost is probably a coward, it means he has not had that many fights, and lets just say I've won alot more than Ive lost. Maybe your wondering why I went to prison for a crime I did'nt commit? Because I was already living by the 1 rule of all outlaws, never snitch. I've also done a strech for cat burglaries, somthing me and my old crew used to pull off like walking in the park, and no one ever got hurt. We started out breaking into cars and tool sheds and eventualy working our way into peoples windows.
I was once inside a house unhooking a vcr when I heard the stairs creek I looked up and saw a 400 lb. woman looking at me,she said who the fuck are you ? I looked her dead in the eye and said I'm with your son, he's in the bathroom. She said tell him I said to hold the fucking noise down. Luckily my road dog had been in the bathroom with light on looking for scrips. We were very reckless back then, but it didnt take us long to find out you didnt have to break into someones house to get some used shit, when we could walk into a store and get some new shit, and when we got busted it was only a shoplifting charge most of the time.
Thats right, not if we got busted but when,for if you play the "game" you will get busted. No matter if your game is boosting, pimping, drugs or even white collar crimes you will eventualy get popped. If you added all my bids together including all the little bullshit county streches I've done for fighting in public and shit like that in over 11 states scattered all over the U. S. , its over 13 years. You might be thinking I'm not a very good criminal, well its quite the opposit I got busted for maybe 1 in a 1'000 crimes. Incase your wondering I have long since retired from my life of crime and have had a real job for over 8 years. I should also tell you that if I had'nt used drugs and put all my ill gotten spoils into cash and saved the money, I would be close to a millionare, and I shit you not.
I'm not saying I would'nt change anything in my past, but I dont regret the lifestyle I've lived. I've had some life experiences that I wouldnt trade for anything. When I was a youngster I knew a girl who babysat for a big time pot dealer and we used to pinch a little everyday, well me and the babysitter had a fight, so I figure on robbing the pot dealer, but when me and my boys get there her stash isnt in the same spot, so I tell the fellas to search the pad, and my buddy Mike yells to me from the kitchen and when I look in there every single kitchen cabnit is packed full of weed. We ended up with over 17 pounds. I think I spent maybe one night at home that whole summer,we were the richest kids in town, we would take cabs to Manhatten, and Six flags.
We did more acid that summer than most people at Woodstock. But this is not a "drugalog" it is not all fun and games. Out of the 5 guys who I used to run with back then I am the only one living a semi-normal life, 1 is dead,2 are in prison, and 1 is homeless and he can barely hold a conversation,his brain is toast. And when that pot ran out I tryed to go back home to mommy daddy, but my parents had had enough of my bullshit, and I spent most of that fridged winter sleeping in the hallway of an apartment building, and the back seat of an abandonded car. But I am a big beleiver in a qoate by Gangus Kahn in 1218, "that wich does not kill me only makes me stronger".
I beleive with all my heart that every past minute of my life can be used to better every second of my world. Like the time I gave a bum 2 bucks on my way out of a dope hole in East L. A. and the next day he got me out of a sure bust when L. A. P. D. seen me walking to my car put me up against the wall the bum came running up and said why yall hastling my boss? He remembered I had a Red Lobster shirt on the day before and told the cops he was a dishwasher their and I had just droped him off. Luckily the shirt was still in my car and the cops let me bounce with 2 ounces of blow down my pants.
Or when I had the love of a good woman,a beutiful, wonderful person. Dont get me wrong, I've had plenty of women, but none like this one, she was the one and only, the whole package. The one who could have changed me if only I would have let her,but at the time, the outlaw in me was to strong. And thats why ladies love outlaws,they want to tame us. If I am nothing else, I am an outlaw. But this woman was special, she is the one I think about when I'm in a cold and lonly cell, she is the one I think about when I'm in a $400 dollar a night suite with 3 high priced call girls and she's the one I wish I could make it all up to.
But like I said that wich does not kill me... Like the time I was coming down the stairs of a crackhouse with a young kid who was maybe 17 and what I thought was homeless guy on the bottom stair turned out to be a stick up boy looking for a victim he was on the bottom step, and when he stood up, he said give me the shit, me being the kind of guy I was at the time, I said I dont know what the fuck your talking about. He said give me the shit and the youngster who was with me said Irish just give him the coke. At that point I relised to late that the stick up boy was really really dope sick, he was shaking like a leaf and he said oh you wanna lie cracker and he put one in my kneecap I screamed like a bitch and threw the dope at him.
My connection hears the shot, comes out, and carries me to the bus stop, dials 911, and bounces. By the way, youngster was half way to Jersey, he ran like the wind, and now that I look back I dont blame him. I'll tell you about a time I was a scared youngster, I was sitting in this very same county jail I'm in right now about 20 yrs. ago, and I had just been scentenced to 10 yrs. and even though I had been to juvi, I was still scared of the Big House. My cellie was an old con who was doing his 4th, and last, prison term.
(life)So I asked him, Pops, whats the worst thing about prison? I was expecting him to say your gonna get fucked or robbed for your shit, and beat down, but he looked me dead in the eye and said youngster, the worst thing about prison is that you get used to it. Truer words were never spoken. I used to wake up in the middle of the night after 2years down, and be like where the fuck am I? Now I can have 1 night in the drunk tank and not only do I know where I am, but I know what to expect and the whole rutine.
I started out this story with a purpose in mind,to tell you how to keep out of a jam if you ever happen to end up behind the wall. And I will, but first let me tell you a little bit about myself, and why I'm qualified to preach this paticular sermon. When I had about 3 yrs in I could sit on my rack and tell you who was on duty just listening to the gaurd walk. Prisons are there own little universes, you dont think so? Let me explain, they have there own galaxy. Imagine if every time you were lucky enough to be outside, you looked up and saw the exact same patch of sky. More than just sights, prison also has its own sounds smells and tastes,I'll give you an example of each. The sound of a cell door sliding shut is like no other sound in the world, for the first 2 years I would rather have heard nails on a chalkboard, but like the old man said, I got used to it. As for sights, if youre lucky, your cell has a 4 inch window were you can look out and see what seems to be miles of barbed ,razorwire, with a gaurdtower at every corner.
With a man and a high power rifle hoping he gets to do what he has trained for his whole career, shot a convict. As for smells, that one beleive it or not is the worst, the others, you can escape, just close your eyes and eat somthing good while listening to your headset, but the smell, of fear, and sweat, and cheap cleanser, is like nothing else in the world. I imagine that this smell is centuries old, I once took a girlfriend to an abortion clinic, and that same over powering stench hit me like a left hook. I had to go wait in the car. I will say this much, thanks to some good cons, I've had some of the best meals in my life behind the wall, bullshit you think? Well imagine a half ass chef,with half ass ingrediants, but now remember he has years and years and years to conncoct his brew. Its true,practice makes perfect.
But I have also eatensome of the worst shit you can imagine, in L. A. county jail,if you go to the hole, they give you what they call jupeball,it consists of what ever there having thrown in a blender and then baked into a sponge like patty, maybe you didnt hear me I said what ever your having, as in bologne, bread, fruit, and rice or potato, blended together, baked and served 2 or 3 hours later cold, and you will eat it, eventually, because like everything else, you get used to it. L. A. county jail is THE WORST PLACE IN THE U. S. A. to do time.
I've researched this subject, trust me. It holds more people than any other jail in the country, on some of the floors its like a huge gymnaisium filled with bunkbeds so close to eachother that its like one giant bed with 300 dope sick junkies, and winos, and you. And that is one rough camp, you will get beat down by the gaurds quicker than shit, don't even think of saying boo. They will kill you. Allthough, one time about 25 or 30 years ago, a small Asian kid, who spoke no english, kicked the living shit out of a few deputies,( by the way, dont ever call a deputy: guard, or c. o. ) anyway this youngster got hold of one of the deps nightsticks and rumor has it they had to get his old man to come in and calm him down,they would have just killed him, but it got out to local media to fast that there was a ninja beating down deputies. Let me tell you right now that your chances of getting fucked are almost nill, if you have even an ounce of fight, they will move on , besides there are alot of gay people who want it to happen. I know that was a very nasty thing to say, but its a fact.
Depending on what part of the country your in has alot to do with how you should do your time, but if you follow the one golden rule you should be alright. I'm going to tell you some of the basic rules that apply to all prisons and jails naitionwide. Like I said, mind your own business. But in the joint,you have to take that to a whole new level,heres some examples of some shit I've seen over the years, I once saw a man get knocked out for saying godbless you to a black guy who sneezed, he was a member of the 5% gang and they beleive that they are true creators and to say god bless you is a major no no. I was once sitting in a chow hall when somone said pass the salt, some newboot reached clear across the table and got knocked the fuck out, you see, he reached over another mans food to get to the salt. So when I say mind your own buisness I MEAN MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, act as if you are deaf and blind but not dumb. Once a fish said to an old con, hey my man, are you sitting here?
The con says I'm not your man, and spit a rasor out of his mouth and sliced open this kids face. I will say this, the fish new enough not to snitch,they grilled him for days, and threw him in "protective costody" witch is the same as the hole, and he never told who scared him, so that when he did finaly get out on the yard he got respect. About a year later he stuck a peice of metal in that guys chest. So dont think you'll always be on the bottom of the food chain. But the fish wouldnt have got sliced in the first place if he hadnt called somone out of their name,if you dont know somones name be careful how you approach them,if a guy tells you his name is Divine Master and you want to tell him somthing, either call him Divine Master, or be ready to fight. I was once witness to a sword fight, but instead of swords, they had mop ringers. A shotcaller is a convict with time in and skills, somone the other cons look to as a leader.
At the time I was in Chino state prison playing cards and a shotcaller was watching T. V. and he got up to piss, after he was gone about 10 minutes a fish changed the channel, the shotcaller comes back and changes it back this idiot of a fish reaches out and changes the channel again. After he get up from getting knocked on his ass by a right cross, he walks to the slop closet and grabs a mop wringer and heads toward the S. C. when one of the S. C. soldiers grabs a mop wringer and gives it to his leader, they went blow for blow, for about 6 minutes wich is a long time for a fight inside.
But this guy didnt get "voted in" as shotcaller, hes the toughest son of a bitch on the yard, and he hit that fish so hard upside the head his eyes spun like a slot machine. Heres an old prison trick that happens every time some new boots hit the yard, theres always some weak fish that stands out, theyll find a candybar on their bunks that night and sometimes theyll be smart and hold it and then ask whos is this? But most times, hunger will kick in,and they will eat it at night very quietly like a mouse nibbling on a peice of cheese, while trying not to set off the trap. And sure enough the gates bust for chow in the morning and this is how it went down when I saw it happen, some preditor walked in to the fishtank right up to the weak fish and he says yo wheres that candybar I left on that bunk?I guess you must of got hungry and ate it huh?
Well when you get your money just give me 2 back ok? Right there hes trying you. No fucking way does a real con pay 2 for 1, unless its of his own accord. So weakfish says no problem, my people got loot, I'll be going to the store every time its open I got mad paper. (money) He might as well have taken out an ad in the Folsom Times that said PLEASE USE ME. Now that the fish took the bait the preditor says:You no good motherfuking punk ass bitch, my daughter saved her alowence all month, and spent it all on family visit day, and I promised her I'd have it when I get out in 2 weeks, how the fuck are you gonna make it right? Needless to say, that fish had a new Daddy, and the preditor never made parole.
You always have to keep your guard up wether youve been there 2 weeks or 40 years. However keeping your gaurd up for years on end,will have its after affects,to this day if I'm at a bar I will usallly have my back to the wall,and I can smell a fight before it happens on the otherside of the bar, while I'm egaged in deep conversation with a young hottie, time and focus, heightens your scences. I can finish a meal in about 15 seconds,if need be. I'm not instationalised, but, I am conditioned to prison life. There are also certain words wich are out of bounds on the inside,Ive seen alot of people get knocked out for telling someone to shut up, now I'm not telling you that you cant tell someone to shut up, I'm telling you be ready to fight if you do. Now I'll tell you some good things about being on the inside of a prison, thats right good things.
You are mistaken if you think there arent any. First and far most are some of the freindships I made. How many of youre freinds would walk into a knife fight with you? Or stand in the way of a bullet?Let me tell you a little story, my freind Ballistic sold football tickets, and if you won he paid you, and the Crips had a pool where if you won somtimes they paid you, so they told Ballistic to shut down shop, but he didnt get that name because of his calm demener, and he was my freind so he never stands alone. There where about 13 of us and 29 of them and Ballistc said to there top Dog, wanna shoot the one? Meaning do you want a one on one fight?
So there guy says Im gonna beat you down Kracka, and about 30 seconds into the fight the tower shots of a warning and the sirons go off, now, if you know whats good for you, when those sirens go off you had best be suction cupped to the ground and spread eagle. But he is my freind, and he will not stand alone. Make a long story short he got knocked the fuck out, but it was fair and square. By the way 1 of the crips was shot in the leg, and we all spent 2 months in the hole for insiting a riot.
You may ask, how is that a good thing, but how many of your freinds would have entered that situation?Another one of the benifits is time, time to read a novel, or write one. Time to work out,speaking of working out, heres a story about the biggest humanbeing I have ever seen barnone. His name was Hawk,he was a black guy who stood about 6ft5 and he was humoungus,he had mustles that were so big I think a fucking bullet would have bounced off. He had been down for 20 years when I met him, so you know it wasnt juice, he started out with a 9 year bid and cought a life scentence when he killed a c. o. this fucked up guard used to hit on Hawks wife every time she came to visit, and she told Hawk, this guard made life miserable for Hawk, and one day Hawk just lost it and killed him with a punch to the throat. As you can imagine Hawk was doing the roughest time there is, hole time.
It was my job to feed people in the hole,thats how I met him I used to sneek him smokes when I could. There was this one prick of a guard who used to ride Hawk all the time, he told him the real reason he killed that guard was because he found out he was fucking Hawks wife,thats when Hawk tryed to grab him through the bars but his arms were way to big and the c. o. put Hawk on paper status for months(paper gown,papercup,paper blanket)and it sucks,its very cold and uncomfortable. So Hawk pisses and shits in a cup and lets it sit for 3 days, and threw it in the gaurds face, who then ran smack into a concrete column and split his lip, but he had already hit the panic button and here I am the only guy outside a cell holding a fucking mop to boot,luckily the first screw on the sceen had watched it all unfold on screen otherwise I would have caught a serious beat down, as it was I got knocked upside the head and told if I told the fellas on the yard what Hawk did theyd kill me. Hawk was transferd to the local county jail with a new beef(agg. assualt)I never saw him again.
Another benifit of time is you can better your education, I've seen guys with 3 or more B. A. s and all kinds of degrees,over 75 percent of guys with high school diplomas got them on the inside. But truth be told,most cons dont have a h. s. d. I have read enough books to fill a small library. And if I can make 1 suggestion its read, read, read, books, newspapers, magazines, legal breifs, and whatever youre lucky enough to get your hands on, newspapers are very very valuable, and I once saw a man almost kicked to death over a newspaper. Knowledge is power,the more you know the more useful you are,the more useful you are, the less likely they are to fuck with you,so read, read, read. Ive learned to speak a little spanish, and Ive also read parts of the carran, and know many Muslims. I started out this story by telling you about a choice I had made, do you remember? I can pinpoint the exact moment in time, it was when a freind went to hand me a joint,I was 12 years old, up until that very moment, I had never broken a single law. If you are at that point in your life, I warn you, choose wisely.
~Bill
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