I did the unthinkable.....

My Name is Dale and I'm an alcoholic.

I achieved 5 years sobriety November 6, 2003. My life was a mess: I had no sponsor or support and I'd made my then wife my higher power; I was doomed. a month later I found myself in jail after a 3 week run on alcohol and meth. That was December 7, 2003.

REWIND...

I had my 2 first whole drinks with my father at 6 years old. I remember them well.

Although we were a dysfunctional / alcoholic family, my parents did their best to raise my brother, sister and myself well. Because of abuse and molestation unknown to my parents I beacme very problematic and began to seriously drink at 8 and I was using cocaine daily at 13.

My life seemed managable until I was in my late 20's. I had a career in aerospace and earned a good salary. Outward apearences displayed a fairly normal person but inwardly and privately I was as sick as they come. I stared to stay away from even my drinking friends and gravitated toward those who drank and used hard. I was killing myself slowly and didn't care.

I was laid off from my job in 2003 and couldn't find anything that came close to paying what I was earning and getting dugs and buying alcohol in the quantities I needed became harder and harder to do. My life was unraveling and I couldn't bare to see my family or friends. I hated myself and was closer than ever to suicide. I became schizophrenic as I drank more and used more meth, cocaine and dexedrine. When I had little money I made my own speed out of inhalers, bathtub crank was what we called it.

By November of 1998 I had dissapered from my home, lived in shot out hotels in downtown Los Angeles or on the streets of Hollywood and LBC. I was lost, broken and without any care for myself. I felt worthless, alone and despaired. I wanted to die.

God though had other ideas. A man came to me and offered to get me into a program and even though I said no that day, 3 weeks later I changed my mind. i still don't know why I did. I can't say that I had a spiritual awakening yet and I certainly didn't feel like I wanted to really change but I said I'd try.

I did the unthinkable: I completed a program, attended meetings, worked the steps and followed direction.

I spent the next 5 years clean and sober and helping others. I met a very pretty woman and we married. Her 2 kids plus the one we had together made 3 and life was good for awhile. Things fell apart after 4 years.

I will avoid the usual finger pointing and blame. We destroyed our marriage and our lives together.

After 5 years and 2 weeks I was out there. Alcohol and Meth and crimes. I was strung out overnight... terrified and desperate. Thoughts of suicide began again.

On December 7, 2003. I found myself in county jail exhausted, broken and alone again. My wife wasn't with me when I was arrested and her and the children were safe. I had a decision to make. I flushed an 1/8 ounce of meth down the toilet in jail that the Sheriffs had missed in 3 searches. that's where my road back to recovery began.

In jail my wife divorced me and left the state with my son. I was hard timing it inside undil I entered The Sheriffs Treatment Program in side the jail. I was released and alone but I went to meetings, returning to the family I had known before. I worked hard to learn about myself and what made me who and what I am and how to not become who I had been ever again.

I'm happy to say that how I live my life now is simple: I live in today, do my best to work and play well with others, spend time with my God, follow the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous and LIVE.

Now, I'm a drug and alcohol counselor, I work with new comers in the rooms and at last I am at peace with myself. With others and with God" I love working with others and showing the love that others have shown me.

I am content with my life because the God of my understanding loves me and to prove it He gave me all of you as my brothers and sisters.

Last Friday, December 7, I celebrated 4 years of recovery.

My name is Dale Schuck and I am a grateful, recovering alcoholic.

Thank you.